DIGITAL TELEVISION COMING JUNE 12, 2009: Sponsored by Cheesecake Baby*: The Blog inside the Blog

For those of you who don't know, the future is upon us. We here at Cheesecake Baby still strongly believe in "walkmans" even though the rest of you have moved onto iPods. I get it. I owned like 4 of them. But then I realized how indie I was by going walkman. It's like when you saw guys in Africa wearing Jordan shirts and then you stopped wearing them.


"You just got Rick Rolled from Africa!"

But I'm not hear to talk about "Jobs" and his maniacal plans to take over the universe, one DRMed mp3 at a time. I'm here to show you what the face of America will look like once they actually get D.T.V., which is short for "Don't talk Victoria, the game is on...gawd, she always does that. Sorry John. Hey baby, why don't you go make us some nachos. Damn, HD looks fucking awesome!"


"Ahhh, the 50's."

So I cruised over to DTVtransition.org (yes they still have .orgs), and actually got to see 'a new era in television broadcasting.' So it's kinda like 'the new MTV', except it will get ruined by people who like to look in the mirror and try to fuck girls at bars 24/7. Like these guys:


"Natty light? More like Natty Right!"

If you don't know what "digital television" is, then you are pretty much screwed for life, so you should just go ahead and sell your house, take the money, and live on the streets til this whole 'technology' fad runs its course. And based on some Asimov novels, that should be roughly a Billion years from now. Or you can just go read their FAQ's. Which is, of course, filled with words and not pictures. So they basically already take you as someone smarter then you actually are. But you're in luck, I found your new best friend:



So now we are caught up on all the facts, let's take a look at the ethnically diverse television watching public: (warning: there is a lot of popcorn eating.)


"We keep are TV on the floor!" Wait...is that Ricky from 'My So-Called Life'?


Girl: I think he's cheating on me. Guy: We aren't dating.


"Girl 1: McDreamy looks the McDreamiest in Digital. I'll have a side of McIraqWarVet on the side with that. Girl 2: And a glass of White Zin. Both: HA HA HA HA HA HA"


"hahaha godzirra always wins" (courtesy of Sasquatch Moans)


"Lady: I plugged in the antenna, how come Matlock isn't on? It's just snowy. Guy: I can't see it anyway."


This picture just scares me because the parents are so close. And the kids don't look pissed. Don't they know anything about the suburbs.

Dot org's, they'll never figure out that the 'Real' new era of television broadcasting public looks like this:


*The views expressed by and herein Cheesecake Baby do not reflect the views of Snipers Around or any other subsidiary blogs. Cheesecake Baby is solely responsible for it's own shame and dirty looks.