Cheesecake Baby: Autotuned!

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Cheesecake Baby: Teabaggin' your brain with Communist Propaghanda

Yeah, that guy is talking about the DTV receiver being an O-Bama brainwashin' deeevice...I blogged about it before...and believe me, Glenn Beck coming into my living room daily in a nice clear picture is toooooootallly brainwashing...or a laxative, I haven't figured that out yet.

And that one chick did say she wanted to burn books...

So overall, I think a couple things:
A. This is not taxation without representation, this is a sore losers hang...otherwise known as a PITY PARTY! The election was 5 months ago...it's not like we are on the tail end of a 200 year totalitarian empire. We just voted...

B. This should not be happening.

C. If they can burn "Evolutionary Propaganda", does that mean we can stand in the streets burning the bible?

D. I'm building a storm shelter, and I'm going to stock it full of biscuits to go with my tea.

E. Somehow these people forgot that we could have lower taxes if they didn't want us to go around making everything illegal. The War on Drugs comes to mind...So does the War on Terror...So does the crazy fucker that went around my work and took pictures of the cars parked illegally and brought it to the police precinct...He's probably hosting a tea bag party...The government is running their lives because they want it to...WAKE THE FUCK UP, PEOPLE!

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Cheesecake Baby: "There will be a 70% chance of fag this weekend"

I watched this:


So naturally I went to the doppler radar...and all it talked about was rain...and then I remembered!


There is a gay conspiracy among meteorologists! They've been hiding the truth the whole time! Trying to sneak in with their equal rights and adopting children...Are they crazy?

We all know that us straighties are way better with children...

And Equal Rights...psssh...we already let "The Blacks" do stuff equally, now I gotta let Johnny Boner sniff my ass at work...I know he is thinking about how he wants to fuck me...GROSS!

But, in all seriousness...If we were gonna make a big deal out of this, we should've done it when Rosie O'Donnell was trying to get a kid...buuuuuuuuttttt noooooooo, we were too busy eating cheeseburgers, replaying A League of their Own, and being too hungover from the joy of Supermarket Sweep, to be able to really see clearly by the time Rosie came on.




But back to "real" seriousness...this ad is gay. Click here for the rest...

Cheesecake Baby: He's gone coouonntree!

The ACM's were last night (I know, I didn't really give a shit either, but some did.) And I was watching them perched on my high pedestal, better known as my bar stool at Ruth Chris. (You have no idea how much bloggin' gets you these days.) And through the smell of my 80 dollar steak and the sting of my 25 dollar whiskey ginger, I made some observations:

(Also note, that since ACM's website is run by a donkey tied to a giant cog that runs their webserver, it will be slow today. "Technologies? I just wanna play the Opries!")

(Also note, that it is OK for you to wear a hat inside at any country event, but not in you mamma's house. "Show some respect, brother.")

-Carrie Underwood sang a song, and I'm pretty sure it looked like this:

It's possible the parachute was bigger and the kids more ethnically diverse (I'm just kidding about the second part, they were totally all white.)

-Taylor Swift - Fearless, won album of the year. But of course, didn't win anything else. Carrie took the good awards for being pretty and wearing parachutes while singing. Taylor Swift later becomes our tabloid nip-slip queen.

-Song of the Year went to 'In Color' by Jamey Johnson, further proving that the vast majority of country fans were putting stockings in front of their TV last night, hoping to get colored pictures on the movin' picture box. Thank GOD, it was on CBS or else I'm pretty sure no fans wouldn't have found it. Cause that damn Fox Channel has all dem crass jokes bout fornicatin! And don't e'en get me started on that commie NBC channel.

-Here is the winner of best video ----> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvKgnkIN8C8
Again, labels fail by making things un-embeddable..."Embed, isn't dat da joke about hows you can say that after you read a fortune cookie. I don't want any part of that commie cookie."

-If you actually watched that video, you probably just woke up 2 hours later in a cold sweat and you're still looking at this blog. I'm SORRY! Here's a nice wake up pic:

She won Best New Artist for...I think singing...I'm not sure...But I'd vote for her.

-Subnote, This song and video was nominated against the above mentioned winners:

She wants to find a guy that's fucked up on pills all the time, treats her like shit, gets famous, runs a tractor into the lake on Thanksgiving, and that is adulterous. The American Love Story.

-Tim McGraw pulled out. (I just wanted to write that.)

-Apparently, based on the ACM site that took 25 minutes to load, they have a Best Casino award...which I'm not entirely sure how the HELL that award even exists at a Country Music Awards event...but, they do have some good shows coming up:


-The Ryman won Venue of the Year...for the 80th year in a row. "It's the old Opry ya'll, you can't vote against that!" Taylor Swift heard in the background going, "Is that that place downtown near Decades?"

I'll leave you with this:
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"Special Cheesecake" Baby; The Blog inside the Fog: No taksies backsies!

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