And the winner for 'Best Corporate Image of a CEO goes to....Michael Eisner!"

I know...I know...

I haven't written in a while, and I know you all missed me.

PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSYCHE!

Well since I know you only get your news from one source (the cheesecake), then I guess I need to update you guys on some stuff...

Jimmy Fallon is getting a late night show:

Carson Daly, a duel to the Death!

errr, I guess that battle was over before it started.

Secondly, this guy died a happy man...sure would've been nice to have that money though...

Thirdly, Mickey Rourke got jipped by Sean Penn. Because our 'mercy' Oscar for Mystic River wasn't enough apparently. At least we didn't give him one for his Child Porno, I Am Sam:

The real stars always get the girls before their famous...

But watch Rourke be inappropriate at the Independent Spirit Awards. FTW:

Seriously though, Let's get Eric Roberts in something...

Speaking of the Oscars...the Knights of the Roundtable award giving is probably the most masturbatory thing I've ever seen...

I mean really, now it's like initiation night for the Sorority.
"Hey girls, you've earned it. Lets see if the Best Actors want to go to the after party. But I'm gonna warn you, they only like doing it in the butt. But getting in with them can make you, so I'd say do it. Don't worry, it only hurts when Brando gets you."

(I tried to Embed the circle jerk, but Oscars youtube page disabled embedding, which makes absolutely no sense. I still think that they are sitting in Hollywood talking to themselves going,

"Have you heard of the internet?"


"I sure have Harvey, and let me tell you, it won't last."


"I here there is this thing called youvision that you can post home movies on."


"Hey Eisner, they want to know if I want to let people embed the video!??!"


"No way Katz, we aren't in the porn business!"


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene...