It's Hard Work Being Rich & Famous. Here is the Book of Secrets to Succeed

Look folks... You've probably come to realize that Kenny Bloggins is here for the people. I don't sugar coat anything. I tell it like it is and it is like it is told. For all of you interested in the entertainment field... I hope you are prepared for the commitment needed to succeed.

Lesson 1: Beat the shit out of your significant other. This will ensure that even if you are a no-talent ass-clown, you will at least get some face time in the press for being a violent bag of douche. You don't think this works? R. Kelly peed on a minor while videotaping it and he is still laughing all the way to the bank. Chris Brown, congratulations for being a disgrace to both music and America. Rihanna... I still like you beat-up or pretty.

BEFORE


AFTER


Moving on to lesson 2: DRUG ADDICTION:

This has worked for decades. Here is a great resource to see how many rockstars have died from various causes over the years: http://www.av1611.org/rockdead.html. No big surprise that Overdose was the #2 cause of rockstar deaths. Coming in at #1... heart attack (probably as a result of years of drug and alcohol abuse). THIS WORKS PEOPLE. The more fucked up you are, the more awesome your music sounds to people that think that music should suck, which is a lot of people and most of Europe.

Finally, lesson 3 is GUARANTEED to skyrocket you into interstellar stardom... SCIENTOLOGY

This list is a regular whos-who of famous d-bags, teabags, beanbags and doggiebags. Cruise, Brandy, Travolta, The dame that does the Bart Simpson voice, Isaac Hayes (RIP) all are on the guest list for the Scientology show. From what I can tell, Scientology is pretty easy. Fortunately, the doctrine was written by L Ron Hubbard who, appropriately made his money as a science fiction author. This "religion" screams CREDIBILITY. Get on board or get Left Behind.